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Mark Warde – I’ll Tell You What – Remembering Those Who Checked Themselves Out

If you are not familiar with the annual Darwin Awards, allow yourself a quick introduction. The column recognizes, albeit with tongue planted firmly in cheek, those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it in the most spectacular ways possible. These are true, sometimes painfully so. Here is the 2018 honor roll: Nominee No. 1 (San Jose Mercury News): An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend’s windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. Nominee No. 2 (Kalamazoo Gazette): James Burns, 34, a mechanic from Alamo Michigan, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a “farm-type truck.” Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns’ clothes caught on something, however, and the other man later found Burns “wrapped up in the drive shaft.” Read stories like this and more in your latest edition of The Ennis News. Be informed, subscribe today!

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Posted by on Feb 12 2019. Filed under Editorials. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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