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A family bitten by ‘Twilight’

Sad to say, my family, under the direction of our matriarch, Kellie, is hooked into the Twilight craze.
She made me buy the movie on Pay Per View for $14.99 in a hotel room in Tallahassee, Fla. on the way back from Disney World back in February. That was the beginning of my exposure to this teen sensation movie, but was nowhere near the start for my better half.

On our 12-hour trip to and from Orlando, and in the quiet hours at the house we rented for a week, there’s no telling how many of the Twilight series books she read. I know we made at least on trip to Books-A-Million to buy one in the series.

Since that time, she’s read each of the four books at least four times. And since learning that the theatrical sequel to the first book was coming out back in the spring, she has hardly been able to handle it.

I have to be fair — she hasn’t littered our bedroom with posters of Edward, the teen heartthrob vampire (sorry I have no idea what his name is and my research department, which consists of my 6-year-old Emma and 4-year-old Addie has not been able to find out his real name). She also doesn’t have the action figures that were being sold at nearly every retail store in the country. But she’s hooked.

And since she’s 29 and, don’t tell her I said this, she’s too old to be a teen vampire, she’s looking to live vicariously through my oldest girl.

Next week at about this time, we’ll be headed to Dallas for some tryout for either the third or fourth Twilight movie. The casting directors need children ages 6-16 and we’ve actually got a Bischof in that category. Though Addie is too young, we’re still dressing her up and tagging her along with dreams that someone will notice her good looks and she might make it for a split second on the big screen.

I don’t plan on having child actors turned screwed up adults, but if one of them could land a role in a movie and make a few bucks for college, there’s nothing stopping me from shamelessly promoting my beautiful little girls.

As actors go, I’m in the twilight of my life and since I have no acting talent whatsoever, this is the best my wife will get from any of her dependents.

My two little girls will be there looking for their parts, even if they have no idea what we’re doing. And since Addie is too young, even though we’ll try to break the rules anyway, Emma is our best shot.

Now that we have convinced Addie that Emma will not get stuck inside the TV during her audition, all is well.

My wife promised me that her Twilight addiction wouldn’t interfere with our day-to-day lives. Sure she tells me to shush me when I want to talk while she’s reading, I had no one to talk to for 10,000 miles on the way to Florida, and I had to search aimlessly for a bookstore in Gainesville, Fla. last winter, but other than that I have not been affected. Until now.

Wish us luck in our attempt to enter our elementary age children into the Dallas Divas and Daughters world of spoiled tweenages and teenagers. And don’t be surprised if I don’t work so much and bore you with irritating columns when Emma or Addie begin paying all the bills.

Tre Bischof is publisher of The Ennis Daily News. He can be reached by sending e-mail to tre@ennisdailynews.com.

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Posted by on Oct 27 2009. Filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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