Food, glorious food

I bring you today the sounds of a Thanksgiving dinner, translated— as closely as possible--to paper. Please tell me if you hear anything familiar. “Who didn’t wipe their feet?” grandmother asked, just as food preparations were reaching a crescendo. “Now, look at this dirt, right here by the table! Somebody get the vacuum cleaner.” Immediately, cousins leapt for the broom closet and their guilt was…