A mole, two five-star generals and a Christmas carol
I inquired about “something to kill the moles that are tunneling up my yard.” He shook his head in a “Wish I could help you” way, checked online to see if there was a product he didn’t know about and then admitted: “We don’t have anything.” “Okay,” I said, wondering how we can send a man to the moon but we can’t keep a blind mole out of our front yards. Another sad soul was nearby and looked at me with shared angst. “Good luck,” he said. “I fight them all the time.” Then he studied me seriously, trying to determine if I was an undercover agent for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), and said, “I tell you what I did. I paid a boy to sit there with a shotgun at the top of the tunnel where the mole would come out.